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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24946249">You are your father</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MxTrashTM/pseuds/MxTrashTM'>MxTrashTM</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>G-Man oneshots [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>HLVRAI - Fandom, Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abandonment, Child Abandonment, Fighting, Gen, Implied Death, Tommy Coolatta (mention), intense angst time</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 08:23:00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>727</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24946249</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MxTrashTM/pseuds/MxTrashTM</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>G-Man thinks about his childhood.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>G-Man oneshots [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1805167</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>You are your father</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Your father wasn't entirely neglectful.<br/>
He just hardly visited.<br/>
He explained it was important for your development to not interfere.<br/>
But how could you ever develop right without him there?<br/>
You only lived with him for a few years<br/>
And you savour those years<br/>
Even know you hate him</p><p>Everything you had become now<br/>
That was because of him<br/>
He influenced your every action<br/>
Because you thought that would make him proud<br/>
And he was<br/>
He said so when he visited<br/>
You felt so happy<br/>
But you hated him so much<br/>
Why did you care so much about how he felt?</p><p>The older you got<br/>
The less times he visited.<br/>
You feared your birthdays<br/>
For you feared that one day<br/>
That would be the only time you saw him</p><p> </p><p>You thought he would watch your every move<br/>
He said he would<br/>
But you found out how much of a lie that was.</p><p>It was your 30th birthday.<br/>
After everything was said and done with your friends<br/>
He visited<br/>
He acted if nothing had changed<br/>
He acted if you didn't have scars on your body from that broken window<br/>
The wounds that just don't heal right<br/>
Sea water prevented that.<br/>
You prevented that.</p><p>You normally greeted him with a wide smile.<br/>
Formalitys were still there but you were granted a small pass for your birthday.<br/>
Instead of a smile, teeth showing.<br/>
It was a grimace, teeth showing.</p><p>He didn't understand.<br/>
How could he?<br/>
He wasn't paying attention.</p><p>That night you found out how much of a lair your father was.<br/>
How much he pretended to care.<br/>
He insisted that it was motivation<br/>
As you would surely strive to succeed more with the idea he would be looking after you from the side lines.<br/>
But you weren't listening</p><p>It was violent, entirely from you.<br/>
You were mad.<br/>
Who could blame you?<br/>
You felt as if he didn't love you<br/>
As if it was a show<br/>
As if you're nothing but a protégé<br/>
Just an investment for the future.</p><p>He left quickly<br/>
You didn't regret it</p><p>There was no way you could contact him</p><p>You didn't care.<br/>
You went to bed that night angry<br/>
You woke up angry</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A few days later he tried to apologize<br/>
Say he was proud you overcame it yourself<br/>
But that he would have done something if he could.</p><p>You almost forgave him</p><p>But</p><p>You had mentioned your friends before when you argued<br/>
Saying that he didn't care how much it effected you when your friend died<br/>
That if he was a good father he cared.</p><p>He said that when you joined<br/>
You wouldn't have to worry about emotions or friends</p><p>There were powers designed for that<br/>
As emotions were detrimental to the job<br/>
They would get in the way<br/>
That they were too much of a hassle<br/>
And<br/>
And<br/>
And that it didn't matter either way<br/>
You would join so far into the future that they would be long gone.</p><p>Why did you care so much?</p><p>That bastard didn't give a shit about anyone but himself<br/>
You let him know that<br/>
You let him know how much you despised him<br/>
After all he did<br/>
That you didn't deserve what he did to you<br/>
You deserved a normal childhood<br/>
You deserved a father.</p><p>He explained that<br/>
He had to do that<br/>
It was part of development<br/>
It was vital</p><p>You didn't care</p><p>Who gives a shit<br/>
You just wanted to be loved!<br/>
You needed to be loved<br/>
Why couldn't you be loved?</p><p>You vowed to him that you would never do the same</p><p>You would be a good father<br/>
You would be there for your son<br/>
You would always be at home, waiting for him</p><p>He didn't care about your emotional outburst<br/>
You would understand one day<br/>
But<br/>
If that's how you felt<br/>
Then there was no need for him<br/>
It was painful<br/>
But you let him leave</p><p>That was the last time he contacted you.<br/>
Until you got the job.</p><p>You vowed that you would be a good father.<br/>
Always there for him.<br/>
You always kept your vows.</p><p>You have gone against yourself.<br/>
You are a liar.</p><p>You would hate yourself</p><p>If you know what would have happened to you.</p><p>You'll never make it up to Tommy<br/>
And he'll hate you forever<br/>
He acts like he doesn't<br/>
It's alright</p><p>You're just like your father.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Didn't realise how long I ended up making this.<br/>For y'all with shitty dads.<br/>Be angry<br/>Get mad</p></blockquote></div></div>
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